:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
