You can't motorboat a personality
what day is it and did you see me today?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
