my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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