I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
