When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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