I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
