i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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