Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
