It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
