Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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