Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
