the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
