all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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