Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
