My brain says no but my pants say off.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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