When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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