So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
