dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
