Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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