Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
