I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
