smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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