True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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