After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
