Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think a kid would responsible me up
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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