Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just had sex on a roof
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
