I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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