I've blown a few things in my day
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize