New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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