she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
