Welp...herpes.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
