Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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