Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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