Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
