My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
