Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
