Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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