My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
