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ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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