I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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