my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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