Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
