I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You made out with two different species that night
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
