three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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