brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
