i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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