We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Randomize
