I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
