apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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