Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
