32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
