She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Why are your pants in the freezer?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
