Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
They are going to name an STD after you.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
