Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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