well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
