I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
