Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Randomize
