I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
