Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
