just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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